You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
