just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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