Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
