I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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