Porn is love you can see.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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