It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
