Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize