I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
