They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
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