He disabled his match.com account in front of me
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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