but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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