I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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