This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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