dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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