Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
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He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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