I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
