you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
