I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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