the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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