I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The feeling are messing with the penis
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
