I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
