i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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