Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
