it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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