I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
