i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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