Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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