i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
