I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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