I murdered the dance floor call the cops
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
