The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
