Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize