I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
