so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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