Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
