ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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