Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Never joke about your clitoris.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
