I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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