my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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