i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Randomize
