I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
the day after is always just damage control
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Randomize
