I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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