i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
