Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
i think im in europe. pls send help
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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