Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
