Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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