Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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