living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize