I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
