I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
