But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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