I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
