If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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