Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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