she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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