did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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