I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
