a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
